The Met Ball 2013 Best Dressed

The theme for this years annual Met Ball was Punk: Chaos to Couture, to match the latest exhibit organized by Andrew Bolton and right off you knew it was going to be a case of Dresses: From Car Crash to Couture. 

The celeb packed event did not disappoint as stars embraced the theme with plenty of studs and spikes on dresses and leather jackets, plus some punk’d up Mohawks and dye jobs. Others went to town with dramatic eye make-up route, or laid it on heavy with the bling. 

A select few didn't get the memo, and for me they let the side down more by not trying than if they had come out all guns blazing and got it wrong. Case in point: Emma Watson, Katie Holmes, Carey Mulligan and Marion Cotillard we're all big disappointments for me. These ladies have clearly never been to a fancy dress party.

Here's my first edit of the best, the worst and the down-right disastrous from the Met Ball 2013. As ever let you know if you agree with me by leaving a comment below.

Firstly, let me just say that though I don't condone the flashing of underwear, I love that Sarah Jessica Parker took her outfit to a whole level above everyone else on the night. She OWNED that red carpet. I can just imagine her thinking 'yeah this is how its done bitches!' whilst strutting round in her Giles Deacon ballgown with Philip Treacy Mohican headpiece and tartan over-the-knee boots. Katy Perry looked tame in comparison wearing a Dolce & Gabbanna dress and crown from the autumn/winter 2013-14 collection. I'd like to combine the crown and the Mohican into one giant mo-crown, which of course SJP would get to wear as she is the Queen of the Met and Katy is just a pretender to the throne. 

Remember when Sienna Miller used to turn up to events looking a bit of a sloppy mess? That's not going to happen when you are wearing Burberry. Still, I think Cara has the edge on her with that plunging neckline and jewellery from Dominic Jones. Well done ladies, and well done Christopher Bailey for securing these two. He's stood behind Cara looking as happy as a five year old in the sandbox. Bless. 

Rooney Mara meanwhile, wore a custom-made white plunging gown by Givenchy Couture by Riccardo Tisci. For me Mara is the gift that keeps on giving, she can do no wrong in my eyes, and the Punk theme suited her perfectly. Kristin Stewart is the dark horse from the Met. You're either going to love or hate her Stella romper. For me a good jumpsuit is next to godliness, so as you can probably tell I am firmly on the love bench. I love that she went for an unusual choice, and seemed to have an actual hair style for once rather than a shaggy mess. 

Meow - yes you Coco Rocha. I know she could work a plastic bag to her best advantage but you have to admit this is fierce. I love everything about her leopard-print gown with a gilded embellished neckline, designed by Fausto Puglisi for Emanuel Ungaro. Elizabeth Banks meanwhile wore an Atelier Versace gold dress with sandals custom-designed by Brian Atwood in her honour. I don't normally like Bank's style choices - I think she's guilty of trying too hard - but this gets a thumbs up. Roll on the Catching Fire premiere for more of the same please.

Some disappointments now in the form of Diane Kruger, Emma Roberts and Emily Blunt. Black dress + obligatory strappy sandals + spike / jewelled clutch + big earrings / ring  / bracelet (delete as appropriate) = yawn. I tried desperately to like Diane Kruger's look but I realised I was forcing it when I was more drawn to the pink hair than the Chanel dress. The same was true for Olivia Wilde, Jessica Biel, Michelle Williams and Amanda Seyfried. Maybe its because SJP set the bar too high but everything after that kind of bored me. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't SJP, seemed to be a theme when editing these images. 

This soon woke me up from my black-dress coma however. The Stella McCartney cobalt blue cape dress was worn by a platinum blonde Cameron Diaz. Or should I say the dress wore her. She's just not edgy enough to pull this off. It belongs on Cate Blanchett or Tilda Swinton. Cameron Diaz is the girl next door. She's Something About Mary & My Best Friends Wedding. The edgiest thing she's ever done is date Justin Timberlake. Cate Blanchett would have worn the shit out of this dress. Where the hell was she? 

I also have to wonder what Elle Fanning was thinking. I like how she matched her eye make-up to her Rodarte tie-dye silk gown, unfortunately, I don't like the gown. In fact I don't like anything from Rodarte A/W 13. It's the ugliest collection of crapola I've ever seen go down a runway. Not even Blanchett could have salvaged this on her best day. End of rant. 

January Jones chose a black sequin dress from the Chanel 2009. Ginnifer Goodwin wore a Tory Burch sequin dress. Both clearly confused the Punk theme with an invitation to wear the most dramatic eye make-up ever seen - not that it could save their outfits. Both were average, leaning towards bad. What happened to January Jones? I feel kind of sad for her, she used to be able to dress herself then Jessica Pare joined Mad Men and its all going tits up. 

This needed two imagess because I HAVE NO WORDS. Just scary noises came out of my mouth when I saw this. Beyonce is a woman who would have us believe she has the world at her feet and money is no object, so why can't she afford a full length mirror? Beyonce wore a Givenchy Couture by Riccardo Tisci dress with matching over-the-knee boots and a snakeskin corset with studded belt. This reminds me of some early Destiney's Child outfits. Question: Is it OK to like early Destiney's Child songs? hell yes. Outfits, hell no. What's more, it made her amazing frame look dumpy when we all know she's anything but. 

Again, when I saw this on Gwen Stefani there were no words, just angry sounds. I hate this fabric that balloons out, creases and makes people with banging hot bodies look like they are a present poorly wrapped in paper by your dad for your birthday, before he tries to salvage the situation by sticking a massive, misshapen bow on the top. Clearly this is bringing back some bad childhood memories for me, sorry about that. But seriously Gwen, Maison Martin Margiela is not for you - come back to things that cling immediately. Gwyneth, same goes. I'd rather hear about your 20 year-old stripper ass than stare directly at that pink shapeless monstrosity.  

Time for the scare-hair twins. Nicole Richie showed off a new sprayed-white hairstyle to match her custom-made Topshop white column dress. Anyone else seeing Doc from back To The Future? Miley meanwhile, wore mesh dress from Marc Jacobs' a/w 2013-14 collection but had a run in with a plug socket on the way over. While I appreciate sticking to a theme (which most people blithely ignored) I think these two may have gone over the tipping point between edgy and into laughing stock. 

Lastly I need your help - do I not like this because it's Anne Hathaway wearing it and I have an illogical hatred for a woman I've never met? Or do I hate it because it's bad? This Valentino is from 1992. I like her hair blonde but I think both the gratuitous side-boob, under-boob, and nipple, and the big bird cuff feathers are putting me off. Do you like it or loathe it? The dress, not Anne obviously. 


  1. Ha! I love your commentary it's awesome. So nice to read some real opinions! I like Anne H. but I hate that dress...

  2. Having breakfast and reading this - I can't stop laughing.

    This MET Ball was like the rocky horror picture show!
    Viva SJP, Rooney and you of course